13 Feb Easy Like Sunday Morning

BY JUDY KENNEDY

This year we celebrated thirty-three years of marriage. I jokingly share, “We have been married thirty-three years—thirty-two wonderful years!” There was that one year we almost didn’t make it through.

I find it amusing that so many marriages fail because of one hard year.
We married young. I mean really young—he was only 17, and I was only 20. Let’s just say that the tears at that wedding were not all filled with joy. We weren’t like many others—we didn’t choose to get married because I was expecting and we needed to make things right. We were just two young adults looking to escape from two very dysfunctional homes.

Statistics prove that dysfunctional homes tend to beget dysfunctional homes. But it is possible to beat the odds! We have come a long way, Baby! And I wouldn’t change a thing. No, seriously… not a thing.

Every life experience either gives to us, or takes from us. And our marriage has survived much—the death of a child, a one-night stand, financial stresses, major illnesses, raising children, balancing careers, and much more. The question we are most often asked is this, “How have you stayed married for thirty-three years?”

We break down our answer into three specific parts:

1. God is the center of every working relationship. It takes three, Baby! We discovered very quickly that marriage requires supernatural intervention. Early on, we could sense how He was working in our hearts to soften our hard areas and to harden our soft areas.

God demonstrated His love for us, in that while we were yet in sin, Christ died for us. So in our marriage, we began to learn how to love each other like He loves us. This means that even when my husband is not what I want him to be, I crucify my selfishness and put him first. When I am not quite the dream, trophy wife he desires, God enables him to see past my weight into my heart.

God’s love perfects ours. His love inside our hearts helps us to love in a deeper dimension than human ability provides. When we choose to honor God, it is much easier to honor each other.

2. Unselfishness. Every human born is selfish. We are born with a strong will to take; and when there are two of us in one home, someone has to give.

People have asked us, “How do you know if you really love someone?” We answer, “When their wants, needs, and desires are more important to you than your wants, needs and desires, then you really love them.”

Real love is hard. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s “easy like Sunday morning”! No, it is hard to love for thirty-three years. But it is the most rewarding decision you will ever make.

3. Commitment. Our culture largely avoids commitment because it requires so much of us. A promise, pledge, or vow in a relationship today is really taking things a little too far.

But “what if it doesn’t work out?” is not a question we allow in our marriage. We choose to limit the insecurities we share by making the commitment “’til death do us part,” meaning, “I will never leave you unless I die!”

I’m sure that last statement makes some people break out in a cold sweat—“That’s so permanent!” they say.

Yes. It is.

But it has permanently worked for us—for thirty-three years—and it will work for you, too.

The formula for love’s success? When you find yourself questioning #3, refer back to # 1 and #2.