25 Sep Developing an Attitude of Gratitude
By: Judy Kennedy
Thanksgiving is not just a holiday in November. It’s actually an attitude of the heart. A heart attitude we tend to focus on each year around the holiday season. We are a culture of holiday “feelings”. We tend to allow ourselves to pause and focus on specific “seasons” as they present themselves, interrupting our busy calendars. We feel love on Valentine’s Day, patriotic on Independence Day, cheerful at Christmas and on Thanksgiving, we’re thankful. Well, some of us are.
Each year, during our season of Thanksgiving, we set aside a few moments to give each family member an opportunity to share some things they are thankful for. And so it begins, the separation between the glass half empty, glass half full people. The optimist vs the pessimist debate. I confess, I am a diehard optimist. My glass may appear half empty, but I’m confident there is plenty of tea to refill it if I so desire.
I’ve come to believe the level of gratitude in our hearts will be measured in direct proportion to our personal perspectives. For example, John took his wife Susie to a beautiful luxury hotel. When they checked into their room, Susie swung open the curtains and exclaimed “Wow! Look at that beautiful sunset! John then replied “How can you see the sunset through those filthy windows? And look at that huge crack?”
How can we change our perspectives and develop an attitude of gratitude in ourselves and our families? I’m optimistically glad you asked! Consider these options:
1. Control Comparisons.
Comparison breeds discontent. When our friends receive a raise, a new car or maybe, a new grandbaby, our tendency is to compare what they have to what we have. We love our friends so we can be happy for them. Their gifts do not erase ours. If we change our perspective and celebrate with them, we will begin to experience a new emotion – contentment.
2. Control your thoughts.
Optimism and Pessimism are feelings that are fed by our thoughts. If we spend our time thinking of all the things that are going wrong in our world, our emotions will follow our thought patterns. If we will choose to re-focus our thoughts toward the things that are actually right in our world, we will feel our moods and our attitudes improve.
3. Take Inventory.
Begin making a list of all of the “things” you already own. Include your homes, cars, boats, books, electronics, etc. Include all of the material things you own. Now, place a huge X across that list and start a new list. Include all of the people and relationships you value. Begin with your family and friends. It’s amazing how just seeing it on paper will cause you to realize how good you really have it. There is always someone else who is happy with less than what you have.
4. Change your want list.
The less you want, the more you have. I remember once at my grocery store there was a give-away. If you earned a certain number of points you could win some new dishes. The clerk was excited to announce that I had earned two new sets of dishes. I paused and responded to her, “That’s ok. I have enough dishes”. My cabinets were full, and so was my heart. Gratitude turns what we have into enough.
I have been amazed to discover that as I develop a thankful attitude, everything around me changes. It has become obvious to me. A heart full of gratitude can turn every day into Thanksgiving Day! It’s all in the way we see our glass. And if you don’t have a glass, call me, I have more than enough!